我不是抛弃你 我是舍不得你

每個人心中都有一封寄不出的情書，不管是寄到天涯，還是...《海角七號》

跨越六十年的七封情書 追尋一輩子的音樂夢想 - 人只能活一回，夢想卻有無數個，唯有放手一搏，才能知道機會屬不屬於自己……。

Just caught the movie “Cape Number 7”, movie made in Taiwan with a strong local countryside flavor, a love story, well 2 stories that unfolded alongside but one happened 60 years before the other.

Ah Ga (阿嘉) is a talented but dejected musician who returned to his hometown Heng Chun (恒春) after failing to make it big in capital Taipei. His “unofficial” step-dad is the village representative (read: political leader) who’s sad and disappointed that young people brought up in Heng Chun forsake this beautiful seaside town to seek their fortunes in big cities. When a famous Japanese singer chose his town to stage his open-air seaside concert, the village leader fights hard and managed to secure a chance to put Heng Chun in the media spotlight, he must find enough musicians to form a rock band to perform the opening act, but first he has to persuade his emo, perpetually disgruntled stepson to perform the guitar on stage again.

Tomoko, a struggling model, unwilling translator & production assistant of a modeling firm (who wants to be a real model but is never given the chance) comes to Heng Chun & is forced to oversee the formation of the band & make sure they do a presentable job as the opening act.

Ah Ga took over the role of the village postman when the real postman broke his leg, finds & opens an undeliverable parcel, it’s been rejected because the address & addressee (a Japanese girl also by the name of Tomoko who stays at Cape, Nr. 7) could not be found. Curious about its contents, he opens the wooden box & finds 7 love letters expressing sad longing and guilt written daily on a vessel bound for Japan from Taiwan, some 60 years ago by a school teacher to his student & lover whom he could not bring along. He was being deported after the Japanese surrendered. The writer of the letters had just passed away and his daughter who read the letters decided to fulfill her father’s wishes to deliver the letters to whom it was meant for.

As the contents of the letters was unveiled & read one after another, we see Ah Ga & Tomoko - both initially hating their own lives & each other’s guts, falling for each other, eventually even having a one-night stand after getting drunk at a wedding dinner, Tomoko admiring Ah Ga’s talent & Ah Ga realizing he had been too harsh on this poor girl who’s miles away from her home because of a job she did not choose.

To me, Cape number 7 is about not as much about lamenting love lost as it is about having courage to grab the opportunity to pursue one’s true love & happiness when hope exists. The Japanese teacher who wrote the letters cried remorse & sorrow (“涌不出泪水的哭泣 让我更苍老了。..”）for loving yet leaving his young lover, because he was returning to his war-defeated motherland and he did not want her to suffer with him back in Japan – “我不是抛弃你，我是舍不得你” (loosely translated “I am not forsaking you, I just can’t bear to see you suffer”). I can’t help asking again, is it true that love has nothing to do with being physically together? 爱一个人真的不需要和他在一起吗？

Before the concert begins, Tomoko tells Ah Ga that she will be returning to Japan the day after, obviously a hint to him that she wants to know if he loves her enough to be with her, regardless of where they will be. Ah Ga is in a dilemma whether to follow his heart & pursue this newfound love, or to obey his head & chuck this crazy idea out of the window. Moved by the letters he found (and obviously not wanting to let the girl he love go, like the writer of letters did), he embraces her and says that either she stays or he will go with her.

I also enjoyed the flavorful conversation, mostly Hokkien. The stark contrast between appeal of big city dreams of young people & the neglect of unpretentious beauty of the small seaside-town & its inhabitants, the mystery of love letters whose delivery has been delayed for more than 60 years and the bold pursuit of musical daydreams by down-to-earth everyday folks (2 policemen, a motorbike mechanic, a rice-wine salesman & a 12 year-old keyboardist who plays poorly in the local church service).

I didn’t cry at all in this movie, it is the bittersweet lovesick longing yet physical absence & impossibility to bring the love to fruition that captivates me. I sat in the taxi on my way stil mesmerized by the love depicted in the movie that the cabby asked me was it a love movie that I just watched, and I thought to myself “God, is it that obvious?!” =)) I thought I could pretend not to be a romantic, but I guess some things are just too difficult to hide.

I found this online - it seems to be a complete collection of the 7 letters... so beautiful the language of love...

第一封
　　
　 　一九四五年十二月二十五日 友子 太阳已经完全没入了海面 我真的已经完全看不见台湾岛了 你还站在那里等我吗 友子 请原谅我这个懦弱的男人 从来不敢承认我们两人的相爱 我甚至已经忘记 我是如何迷上那个不照规定理发 而惹得我大发雷霆的女孩了 友子 你固执不讲理 爱玩爱流行 我却如此受不住的迷恋你 只是好不容易你毕业了 我们却战败了 我是战败国的子民 贵族的骄傲瞬间堕落为犯人的枷 我只是个穷教师 为何要背负一个民族的罪 时代的宿命是时代的罪过 我只是个穷教师 我爱你 却必须放弃你
　　
第二封
　　
　　
　 　第三天 该怎麼克制自己不去想你 你是南方艳阳下成长的学生 我是从飘雪的北方渡洋过海的老师 我们是这麼的不同 为何却会如此的相爱 我怀念艳阳…我怀念热风… 我犹有记忆你被红蚁惹毛的样子 我知道我不该嘲笑你 但你踩著红蚁的样子真美 像踩著一种奇幻的舞步 愤怒 强烈又带著轻挑的嬉笑… 友子 我就是那时爱上你的… 多希望这时有暴风 把我淹没在这台湾与日本间的海域 这样我就不必为了我的懦弱负责
　　
第三封
　　
　 　友子 才几天的航行 海风所带来的哭声已让我苍老许多 我不愿离开甲板 也不愿睡觉 我心里已经做好盘算 一旦让我著陆 我将一辈子不愿再看见大海 海风啊 为何总是带来哭声呢 爱人哭 嫁人哭 生孩子哭 想著你未来可能的幸福我总是会哭 只是我的泪水 总是在涌出前就被海风吹乾 涌不出泪水的哭泣 让我更苍老了 可恶的风 可恶的月光 可恶的海
　　
第四封
　　
　 　十二月的海总是带著愤怒 我承受著耻辱和悔恨的臭味 陪同不安静地晃荡 不明白我到底是归乡 还是离乡 傍晚 已经进入了日本海 白天我头痛欲裂 可恨的浓雾 阻挡了我一整个白天的视线 而现在的星光真美 记得你才是中学一年级小女生时 就胆敢以天狗食月的农村传说 来挑战我月蚀的天文理论吗 再说一件不怕你挑战的理论 你知道我们现在所看到的星光 是自几亿光年远的星球上 所发射过来的吗 哇 几亿光年发射出来的光 我们现在才看到 几亿光年的台湾岛和日本岛 又是什麼样子呢 山还是山 海还是海 却不见了人 我想再多看几眼星空 在这什麼都善变的人世间里 我想看一下永恒 遇见了要往台湾避冬的乌鱼群 我把对你的相思寄放在其中的一只 希望你的渔人父亲可以捕获 友子 尽管他的气味辛酸 你也一定要尝一口 你会明白… 我不是抛弃你 我是舍不得你 我在众人熟睡的甲板上反覆低喃 我不是抛弃你 我是舍不得你
　　
第五封
　　
　　天亮了 但又有何关系 反正日光总是带来浓雾 黎明前的一段恍惚 我见到了日后的你韶华已逝 日后的我发秃眼垂 晨雾如飘雪 覆盖了我额上的皱纹 骄阳如烈焰 焚枯了你秀发的乌黑 你我心中最后一点余热完全凋零 友子… 请原谅我这身无用的躯体
　　
第六封
　　
　 　海上气温16度 风速12节 水深97米 已经看见了几只海鸟 预计明天入夜前我们即将登陆 友子… 我把我在台湾的相簿都留给你 就寄放在你母亲那儿 但我偷了其中一张 是你在海边玩水的那张 照片里的海没风也没雨 照片里的你 笑得就像在天堂 不管你的未来将属於谁 谁都配不上你 原本以为我能将美好回忆妥善打包 到头来却发现我能携走的只有虚无 我真的很想你啊 彩虹 但愿这彩虹的两端 足以跨过海洋 连结我和你
　　
第七封
　　
　 　友子 我已经平安著陆 七天的航行 我终於踩上我战后残破的土地 可是我却开始思念海洋 这海洋为何总是站在 希望和灭绝的两个极端 这是我的最后一封信 待会我就会把信寄出去 这容不下爱情的海洋 至少还容得下相思吧 友子 我的相思你一定要收到 这样你才会原谅我一点点 我想我会把你放在我心里一辈子 就算娶妻 生子 在人生重要的转折点上 一定会浮现… 你提著笨重的行李逃家 在遣返的人潮中 你孤单地站著 你戴著那顶… 存了好久的钱才买来的白色针织帽 是为了让我能在人群中发现你吧 我看见了…我看见了… 你安静不动地站著 你像七月的烈日 让我不敢再多看你一眼 你站得如此安静 我刻意冰凉的心 却又顿时燃起 我伤心 又不敢让遗憾流露 我心里嘀咕，嘴巴却一声不吭 我知道 思念这庸俗的字眼 将如阳光下的黑影 我逃他追…我追他逃… 一辈子 我会假装你忘了我 假装你将你我的过往 像候鸟一般从记忆中迁徙 假装你已走过寒冬迎接春天 我会假装… 一直到自以为一切都是真的 然后… 祝你一生永远幸福